Welcome to Earth

I have come to the conclusion recently that opera music is evil.  There are several reasons for this, which I will explain for those of you who are unable to come to the above conclusion on your own:

1.  It makes your ears bleed - The other day, there was some opera music playing in the background.  After tuning myself into it for but a few moments, I noticed a painful sensation coming from my ears.  I checked my ears in the mirror and sure enough, a small flow of blood was oozing forth.  No, I don't do drugs - I believe this to be the result of the frequencies that some of these singers hit - be it sub or supersonic - frequencies that can result in the rupturing of one's eardrums, even if played at only moderate volume.  In any case, it is apparent that listening to opera music has roughly the same effect as sharpening a pencil and tapping it into your ear with a hammer.

2. It contains subliminal messages - Sure, it all sounds like loud, falsetto Italian to the untrained ear, but as someone who has been trained in music since a very young age, I was able to pick up certain messages deeply embedded in the music.  So while Granny thinks her Pavorotti CD is filling her house with beautiful notes, her head is actually being filled with messages directing her to use puppies for trap-shooting.  Extensive research on my part confirms this as an unarguable truth.

3.  It fools people into believing that it is sophisticated - Many of you who began reading this post likely initially thought "Oh, well he's just uncultured".  This is evidence of the subversive psychological twisting that this evil "art" form is capable of.  Supplemental to this is the fact that attending an opera requires the most formal style of dress, which automatically brings to mind "high class", or "sophisticated".  What is really happening in these opera houses is an enormous lie.  People get caught up with being in a fancy place with fancy clothing and fancy people all around them, and end up actually thinking that the music is a good thing.  If this isn't dangerous, I don't know what is.

4.  It just sucks.  Anyone can see that a fat, pompous freak vibrating his uvula at top speed with an orchestra in the background is getting away with something. 

These are just a few of the list of over 370 reasons why opera is evil.  It is my humble but very well informed opinion that all opera houses should be made into football stadiums, and all opera singers be sent to north Korean labor camps. 

If you disagree, than it's too late for you.  The music has twisted your brain, and you are a hopeless zombie to the will of anyone that can pull a strong vibrato.  May God have mercy on your soul.

:arrow: Rizzo

Wow, Tblog is finally working again.  Bout time.

In light of the recent events in the east, I thought it would be prudent to at least comment on them.  It's difficult to grasp really... the death toll at the time of writing is somewhere over 80,000, and considering that just 2 days ago the toll was about 10,000, I'm sure we'll be looking at an even more frightening figure when it's all over.   One of the tougher things for me personally is the inability to actually grasp these events.  We lucky ones in the unaffected countries still go about our day to day lives, like nothing happened.  But in a single day, more lives were lost due to this disaster than all the American casualities in Vietnam and every war since combined.  We bemoan the loss of our heroes, and rightfully so, but it is hard for us to even fathom what happened to the people in these distant countries.  I'm sure some of the users on this site are in closer proximity to the disaster, perhaps you have some better understanding.  I almost feel guilty about it, in that I'm unable to respect what these folks are going through.

My dad made a good point when he related this disaster to a personal experience we had a few years ago.  My parents live close to a river, and we would often go canoeing in it.  One year, late autumn, the river was surging powerfully, and the water level was much higher than normal.  The current was powerful, the water frigid.  So what did we do?  We went for a ride, of course.  We ended up having both our canoes capsize, sending my father, myself, and my two bros into the icy water.  We had our vests, thankfully, so being the idiot that I was (and still am today, I suppose) I decided to go after the canoes, while the rest of the family was more interested in the preservation of their lives.  I ended up struggling for about half a mile downstream with a swamped canoe, only to have the rope snap as I finally tried to haul it on shore.  The canoes were recovered by some passing jet-skiers, thankfully, and any hypothermia was washed away by 120 degree showers once we got home.  But the point my dad made was that this frightening experience could be, in a way, related to the tsunami disaster, only on a smaller scale.  There is no feeling to describe the helplessness of being caught in a powerful current - you can't even get your hands onto the shore - the grass will pull off the ground as the current pulls you along. 

At least now I believe that I can somewhat see what this was like.  My father and brothers thought I was lost when I swept downstream out of sight.  These tsunamis swept likely over 100,000 people out of sight, never to be seen again, outside of those whose bodies were recovered.

The only reason I post this is an attempt to put this event into perspective.  I hate to say it, but this makes even 9/11 look weak.  Nature can be a real bitch sometimes, and so many innocent people were just killed, it makes you feel like the world is nothing more than an anthill.  Scary stuff.  If anything, perhaps this will allow us to realize that the conflicts we are involved in, the differences we have - all are pretty much insignificant next to something like this.

I promise my next post will be more obscene, less serious, and at least an attempt at something amusing.  I just had to talk about this, since it's been only getting occasional mention on the news stations.  Apparently the stock market's day-to-day activity is just as important.

As of next week, the lag in posts should cease, I'll get back to it on a daily basis.

All for now,

:arrow: Rizzo

Here's the obligatory holiday cheer for all you people still reading blogs today:  Merry Christmas!  Now get off the computer and drink some eggnog!

Oh, and if you do drink eggnog, try to stay off the roads.  There are likely going to be lots of drunkards wheeling around on the ice, and lots of angry cops who couldn't get off work today, and would like to get you.

Hope everyone has a great Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate)

Tune in tomorrow for my reaction to the big game.

:arrow: Rizzo

Christmas is on the way out.  I feel ashamed and embarrased that I ever agknowledged the existence of this holiday, due to the fact that by doing so, I was ruthlessly discriminating against those who do not celebrate Christmas.  Er, excuse me.. Xmas, I should say.

This has been a hot topic lately.  In public places, especially schools, there is currently a very strong push to get rid of anything that relates to Christmas in even the slightest way.  Not only are shop employees and school workers mandated to revert to the painfully generic phrase "Happy Holidays", but extreme measures are now being enforced to ensure that one satanist kid doesn't take offense.  No more songs, no trees, no candy canes.  Literally... kids in some schools are forbidden to wear red and green clothing.   If this isn't the sign of the apocalypse, I don't know what is.

The way I see it is this...   the majority.. or more accurately, the extremely large majority of people in America celebrate Christmas.  Like it or not, the predominant religion in these parts is Christianity.  Add to that the fact that Christmas itself has become extended to just about everyone, Christian or not, and you end up with about 98% of people in this country acknowledging Christmas in at least a minor fashion.   No, the Jews don't celebrate Christmas, but concessions have been made to acknowledge Chanukkah, and I'm yet to hear a single Jew complain about the Christmas tradition.   Yet for some reason, there is a strong push by a very vocal minority that insists that the very notion of Christmas is offensive to their personal beliefs, and any incidence of Christmas celebration outside of the private household should be swiftly terminated.

Damn.  When I was a kid, it was all about watching those funny little Christmas specials with the puppet characters of Santa Claus and the "Coldmeister".  Now kids are being fed the idea that Christmas is something we should privatize.  I have one question:  What the hell is wrong with people today?   In an effort to be the most totally tolerant and equivalent culture in the history of man, America has succeeded only in isolating and becoming intolerant of the majority.  And here I thought this was a democracy.  The attempt to remove Christmas symbols from public space on the grounds that it is associated with a specific religion is a triumph for socialism, not democracy.  If the majority truly was represented in this case, there wouldn't even be an issue.

Aside from all of this, we have to ask:  How is anyone really offended by Christmas in the first place?  I believe (perhaps in a somewhat naive fashion) that just about NOBODY is.  It's the backdrop that existed beforehand that led to all this nonsense....  the idea that any type of spirituality has to be censored (except, of course, for minority spiritual views).  My honest belief is that nobody has ever been truly damaged in any way by seeing a Christmas tree.  Maybe it's an outrageous assumption, but it's one that I oddly feel safe in making.  The truth is, when you look at the bigger picture, this whole Christmas situation is just one example of the twisted world view that is "politically correct".   The term "politically correct" can be more accurately defined by rephrasing it: "Culturally neutered". 

Ok, here it is.  I would love to hear what any of you nutjobs that actually think of Christmas as offensive have to say.  I can't promise that I'll be nice.

Happy Holidays.  Hell no.  MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS.  (sorry to the extended family that will no doubt read this.)

:arrow: Rizzo

Ok, being a Steelers fan is now officially cool...  I saw a music video the other day, Snoop Dogg was wearing the team jacket in the video (with, of course, his name in huge gangsta style letters on the back).  Later that night he was on Best Damn Sports Show, completely decked out in Black and Gold, the team logo on his chest.  And we all know that whatever Snoop does becomes instantly cool (except for Soul Plane).

Anyhow, Pittsburgh is heading to the meadowlands Saturday to play against the Giants -- this one will be the Steeler's last easy win this season.   Should be fun to watch Eli Manning try to pass against the no.1 defense in the league.  Idiots should really start Kurt Warner. 

In other news, my computer is screwed.  Doesn't matter how many times I scan for viruses, run my anti-spyware programs... the internet has become a royal pain in the ass.  I keep finding weird programs installed on my computer, most of them claiming they can help safeguard me from spyware.  I wonder how these people sleep at night... it should seriously be illegal to install software on people's drives without the user's consent.  Oh well, looks like I'll just have to format my hard drive AGAIN.

Off to work for now, then making the trip to NY on Monday.  I'll check in Monday night.  All for now

:arrow: Rizzo

Yesterday was fun... for dinner, the woman and I went to a place called "Mulaney's Harp and Fiddle", and authenticish Irish Pub in the Pittsburgh Strip.  We drank Harp and ate sheopard's pie, all the while realizing that we were the only people in the place that weren't Irish.  This included the bartenders and wait staff, as well as a large funeral party that came in for a reception shortly after we arrived.  They soon revealed themselves as true Irish when, upon aquiring a pint of Guiness, they appeared to completely forget that someone had just died. 

Later on in the evening, we headed down to the South Side, which is one of the best areas in Pittsburgh for restaraunts/shops/bars.. all of which are centered around Carson street.  We walked down Carson for maybe a block after parking, but Pittsburgh is really cold right now, so we ducked into the next place we passed by.... rather standard looking joint called Piper's Pub.  Within minutes we were warming up and realizing that once again, we stood out in this place.  Everyone here was British!  Not sure how we kept picking these places, but it was kind of cool  to discover some of the European's hangout spots here in the burgh.   There was no doubt to these folks' country of origin -- if the accent didn't give it away, the excessive use of the word "bloody" left little question. 

We headed home after this, but my roommate Randle El (as I call him) wanted to hit up the South Side after he got off work later in the evening.  We ended up going into a place called "The Smiling Moose".  Looks like your standard spot from the outside - Coor's light neons, wood door,  pool table in the back, etc.  As soon as I stepped inside I realized we had found Pittsburgh's official heavy metal bar.  The jukebox was blasting out Seputura, Venom, Screeching Weasel, and other bands typically found only in an angry teen's CD stash, and the place was packed to the gills with black leather, studs, bad makeup, tatooes, Harley T-shirts, etc.  If we stuck out at the other places, I can only imagine how I looked in this place.  The bar's denizens looked like they could and would kick my ass at the drop of a hat.. but turns out they were really cool people, more laid-back and social than most strangers you'll come across (although I could've gotten my ass kicked - there was one Def Leppard CD in the jukebox, and I almost considered it, just to see what the reaction would be).

By the end of the night, all these incredibly specific crowds sealed the deal for me.  I can no longer seeing myself going back to the small, non-diverse towns of my past.  Cortland is a middle-class, 99% white, quiet town, while Steubenville is a rundown, lower-class nothing-happening former steel town.  As someone who has lived all his life in these little towns, it's really something to be living somewhere as diverse and exciting as Pittsburgh.   The fact that you can move from one bar, for example, to the one next door and see two entirely different species of human is something I'm not used to, but I like it.

Not to mention the football.  12-1, about to be 13-1, all I can say.  Go Bettis!

More garbage later,

:arrow: Rizzo

Well, I just got back from the interview.  This is the first time I've had a tie around my neck since... probably my last interview.   I'm not the dressy type.  Anyhow, I had pretty much figured on ditching this job before I even got there... it's WAY out in the sticks, a good hour or so north of Pittsburgh.  It's far enough away that I actually drove out of the snowstorm, and back into it on the way home. Due to the fact that I'm deeply in love with my car, I'd rather not put 2 hours worth of commuting on it daily.

When I pulled up to the place, I was surprised, to say the least.  The job I applied for was a drug/alcohol counselor, but the posting didn't mention it was at a state school for "troubled" youth... basically all the kids in this place are put there by the courts.  What struck me the most was the ominous appearance...  a huge, red-brick castle of a school.  I could already hear "another brick in the wall" bouncing around my head before I even made it to the door. 

I had to interview with 2 people.  The first, oddly enough, was the principal.  He was about 5'6" and slight, but really intimidating for some reason... probably because he was Italian.  Nothing against Italians.. maybe I just watched too many Sopranos episodes.  The interviews went fine, they asked a couple questions, chatted about the Steelers, and that was it.  The main point both interviewers made was that the position I was applying for was probably the hardest job at the school.  I considered the starting salary, the level of stress, and the commute, and I think I've prematurely decided that even if they do offer me the job, I'm going to have to pass on this one.  I just sent out an application for a much more promising looking job in the South Hills, so maybe that'll come through.  It pays better, too.   

On the way home I was nearly killed, as well.  The highway went from completely clear to covered in ice within a mile... some dumbass in a Civic decided it was a good idea to blow by me doing about 75...  I almost hit him a minute later as I rounded a corner only to see him sliding sideways down the road.  Idiot.   Rule of thumb:  Don't drive fast on ice.

Anyways, I already posted my attempt at a socially relevant blog today, so I'm not going to try to add anything intelligent here.  I need to go take this silly tie off, and get back into a big ugly sweater.  All for now.

:arrow: Rizzo

It's always interesting to look at the way society has evolved in America.  One of the things I've noticed over the past decade or so is how completely uncool white people can be.  We're just not trend-setters these days.  The last time we were defining what is "cool" was the eighties....  a time period that we can now look back on and hope to never repeat.  Today's "cool" has evolved from the hip-hop culture, which started out as a few underprivelaged kids in the ghetto and has now blown up to the point that even our grandparents know how to speak Snoop.  

I think the reason for this is that "white America" doesn't really have much of a cultural identity.  We group ourselves into a single race, but the truth is most of us are mutts, a blend of different European races, and for many the blend is great enough or the immigration of our families long enough ago that there is no longer a specific cultural identity to which we can attach ourselves to.

So what do we do?  We attach ourselves to other people's cultures.  At the current time, we're fascinated with black culture.  And why shouldn't we be?  After all, the music that has stemmed from their culture includes blues, jazz, hip-hop, rap, etc... while the only music we can really lay claim to is classical and country (remember, rock music evolved from blues). That says a lot, I think.   But beyond just the music, the fact that the culture is there, and it is as prominent as it is, I think many people find it exciting in a world where they have no strong culture of their own.

Some people take it too far, of course.  We've all seen the little white kid who has convinced himself that he's black... like the real-life version of "Malibu's most wanted".   Kids are stupid anyway, but now dressing up like a pretend-punk is no longer cool, so they're pretending to be a different race altogether now.  (This, of course, if they're not deciding to assert their "individuality" by dressing up in black and white, like every other goth moron, but that's another topic for another time)

I guess my point is that it's understandable why white people are fascinated with black culture - it's so much more developed and interesting than our own - but it's an illustration of the fact that we lack any unifying cultural principles.  It would be interesting to see what would happen if we didn't identify ourselves as one "white" race, but rather by the countries of our origin.  I'm mostly scottish... I guess I could run around in a kilt playing bagpipes, and that would be cool. 

Wonder how a kilt would go over in my interview.  Wish me luck

:arrow: Rizzo

Of course, none of the above applies to some of our southern brethren... they DO have something of a developed white culture, and many of them still want nothing to do with black people.  I choose not to include them because theirs is a culture none of us up north are particularily proud of (no, not EVERYONE down south, but a lot of you). 

When I looked out that window, it was one of those days that you have to do a double take.  Last Monday it was 60 degrees here...  now the ground is covered in snow.  Time to move to California.   And this on a day I have a lot to get done. 

Let's just hope those pricey "allseason" tires I put on my car are really allseason.  I could already hear a myriad of sirens from somewhere a couple blocks away... my guess is some idiot already wrecked their car. 

Anyhow, like I said, I have a lot to get done.  I'll try to get a good post in.  As for all you people in Florida/California... go to hell.

Now here's something that's been on my mind lately...

You ever notice the crazy double standards that exist today in our culture?  Where some things are sacred, other things are not.. the defining line between which is often rather unclear.

Good example?  Ok, we all remember Superbowl 38 earlier this year... if not for the fact that it was a great game, then because of the half-time show "wardrobe malfunction".   I remember seeing it myself.. I believe my reaction was something like: "huh.  She's got some guts to be doing that."  I immediately forgot about it once the second half started, so that I could continue to hopelessly cheer on the underdog Panthers. 

I remember the next day at home, I turned on the tube, around 4:30 pm or so.  USA network, a rather cool show called "Traffic: The miniseries", based off of the excellent drug movie of the same name.   Some guys running around in a desert, helicopter overhead, gunfire all around.  Suddenly you get a shot of one of the bad guys jumping for cover, only to realize he's face-to-face with an active hand grenade.  The camera zooms behind some cover as the grenade goes off, then pans back up to where the guy used to be, revealing a nice, lumpy pile of human kibbles n' bits.  Now that's pretty violent, bloody stuff, especially for 4 in the afternoon.  Never heard anyone complain about it, but shortly after watching this show, I tuned into CNN and began to realize the "seriousness" of Janet Jackson's awful deed. 

The reasoning was this:  CHILDREN were watching the superbowl!  Imagine what seeing a breast must have done to those poor kids minds.  Now they're all destined to grow up as confused perverts who will never fit into society.  It doesn't matter, however, if these same kids get home from school at 3:30, turn on USA, and watch humans being blown into giblet stew. 

It made me think.  Why is it ok for these kids to see this much violence, but the idea of Janet Jackson firing off a shirt cannon results in hundreds of thousands of dollars of fines for the network, as well as a 5-minute delay on all forth-coming sports broadcasts?   It's a strange double-standard, and it's the result of the often confused evolution of American society.  Throughout our relatively short history, America has sought to find a middle ground between overly strict principles and outright relativist chaos.  The rapid growth and industriousness of our country has made devolopment of culture a monster of its own, a product of free thought, war, and an unprecedented diversity of previous cultures and races. 

In other words, America continues to change it's views on what is and isn't socially acceptable, and thus far different c oncerns of social norms have evolved at various speeds - obviously, violence became acceptable rather quickly.  Sexuality and obscence language are, right now, probably the hottest issues - guaranteed to cause controversy wherever they go. 

I'm not advocating more or less of any of this on television, I'm not really taking a stance at all.  Merely pointing out an oddity that has resulted from a mind-numbingly complicated cultural evolution. 

What I AM advocating, however, is for people to stop bitching about the content in our media.  Many people seem to think that the media has some sort of agenda - some say it's out to corrupt our youth, others might say it's filling our heads with lies. 
Here's a news flash, idiots.  The "media" will provide whatever content sells.  If a show hits it big, it's because people are watching it.  It's the nature of capitolism - it has to sell in order to survive.  There simply aren't that many altruistic billioniares with a vision of wisdom and peace willing to fund network broadcasting, so the programs that pull in the most viewers aquire the most expensive advertising space, meaning the "evil" TV people make more money. 

It is in this way that the media is a reflection of our culture.  The reason we may see things changing on TV, the radio, or in the newspaper is because our culture continues to change.  We simply can't point a finger at the media without pointing one at ourselves.   Yeah, there might be a lot of crap out there, but it's only because we enjoy crap so much. 

Don't like it?  Worried about your kids?  Trust me, they'll be fine.  If anything, exposure to culture, both the good and bad aspects, is something every kid needs to an extent.  If you're really worried, that'd be a good reason to pull them away from the TV altogether and get them off their increasingly fat asses.  

Wow, longish post this time.  Gotta go, coffee is calling.  Oh, and my leg isn't bleeding anymore.  It just looks really, really gross.  I told my girlfriend, when showing her my war wound, that I found a little sliver of bone in the wound and pulled it out.  She believed me. That's how ugly the wound is (trust me, she's not stupid - plus I'm a good liar).

Oh, almost forgot... some news from my personal life, good news, actually.  About 2 weeks ago I was surfing the net, found a job posting for a drug/alcohol counselor position here in Pittsburgh.  I was a cheapass and I emailed my resume.  They actually called me back, I have an interview Tuesday.  I'll keep you all updated.  That's about it.

Till next time...

Ok, now I'm bleeding.  In two places. 

That damn gym was a handful to put together.  Some of the pieces just didn't want to fit, and when the pieces are made of steel, it can be difficult to bend them together.  Long story short, I ended up falling off the frame and taking off a large portion of the skin on my shin.  Oh well, the thing's finally together, but after what I went through to put it together, I think I'm going to wait till tomorrow before using it.  Yuengling time!

I'll get in a post later today.  Just needed to let you all know that I'm bleeding.

Yesterday was my 23rd birthday.  I know I'm still young, but what worries me is that I'm approaching that age where I'm supposed to be a responsible adult.   I feel like I'm trying to cling to my irresponsible youth as hard as possible, but the further I go, the harder this becomes, as the demands of life begin to compile.  "Welcome to Earth," indeed.

Anyway, I had to work on my birthday... from 7 in the morning through until 1 a.m. Monday morning.  No candles this year.  I got the only birthday present I needed though... we have a TV at work, and I spent the last few hours of the Sunday shift glued to it, watching possibly the best game so far this season.   Steelers at Jacksonville Jaguars.  All the "experts" had this one picked for an upset loss for Pittsburgh, and they were almost right.  It was a ridiculous game, both sides looked like they were trying to gut each other with each play.  I was surprised that there weren't more injuries.   I won't bore you non-fans with the details, but what made this game great is that it was decided in the final 18 seconds of the game.  With less than 2 minutes to go in the final quarter, the Jaguars put a field goal through the uprights, putting them up by two points.   Big Ben Roethlisberger had to show he could operate under pressure in the 2-minute drill.... he was flawless.  They moved the ball down the field, getting the field goal with 18 seconds on the clock, putting Pittsburgh up by one.  The final seconds of the game allowed Jacksonville a 60-yard attempt...  which just barely missed.   This was one of those games that had me jumping off the couch, both celebrating and cursing.  Good stuff. Roethlisberger finished with 2 TDs and a ridiculous 88% pass completion rating.  That was my birthday present, and I was very happy with it. 

Anyhow, today I'm going down to Dick's sporting goods to pick up homegym.   I have an extra room in my apartment - kind of like 2 living rooms.. but since I only have 1 TV and one couch, until now I had no use for the other room.  Now it'll be a home gym.  Considering the money I'm dropping I damn well had better look like Arnold by March.  

Apologies to the 95% of you reading this who couldn't care less about football.... but look at the header.  You're going to have to put up with it on occasion.  I'll get something worthwhile up here soon, thanks for reading nonetheless.  Now I have to get motivated enough to get off this couch and go do something with myself. 

Ah, yes.  More great news from the world of sports.  Apparently, NY Yankee slugger Jason Giambi took steroids, as was recently leaked from a court testimony.  Wow, big surprise there.   It's pretty easy to pick out the roid-touting baseball stars... take a look at the physique they had during the rookie years, fastforward to present day, and you'll notice a rather obvious difference.  That difference being that today, these guys are huge.  I saw a little clip on ESPN of Barry Bonds back in his pirate days... he was actually pretty small.  These days, he's over 40, and his arms are bigger than most people's legs.   It's a shame, the guy's had a record 7 mvp awards, and has been touted as one of the greatest players to ever grace the game.  Now he's claiming that he didn't know the product he was taking, called "clear", was a form of steroids.  The hell did he think it was? A multivitamin? 

What this really makes you wonder, though, is if athletes in other sports are doing the same.  Due to the nature of baseball, it's easier to pick out the big, strong, power players.. the guys who could be on the steroids.  But look at football.  Almost all these guys are huge... and since individual performances outside of the quaterback, halfback, and receiver positions aren't always in the spotlight, it would be easy for a big lineman to be shooting up on the stuff, and not have to worry about detection.

So what are the league officals to do?  How do you keep the game balanced when all these power-hungry athletes are sticking HGH into their arms?  It's simple... give steroids to all the players.  Then you don't have to worry about it!  Every player in every sport would be a superman.   The hits would be harder, the plays would be bigger, and the genitals would be smaller.  Not only that, but the more boring sports, like, golf, could be made much more exciting.  Tiger Woods could be taking down small planes with his long drive.  In addition, the over-blown hormones could lead to plenty of classic "happy gilmore" moments in the professional circuit.  I know I'd tune in. 

At least the year is coming to an end.  Hopefully sports will pick itself back up from all the garbage we've seen in the past few weeks.  Sports is really the last pure, agenda-less arena left in the entertainment world.  It's something that exists outside of the problems in our world today, and celebrates a fundamental aspect of humanity - competition and achievement.  It's a shame to see it going down the tubes as a few of these overpaid, overblown, egomaniacal athletes forget the real purpose of the game they're playing, and start worrying more about their bank accounts, statistics, and bicep size.  

I'm off to work for the weekend in a little bit.  See you all on Monday.

Just got some good news... I'm going to get Christmas off.  It took me about a month of whining to my bosses, but they finally caved.  Just a big relief off my chest.   It can be tough at times, being a younger person in the working world... all the nasty, bitter old supervisory figures take you for a dumbass, when the truth is, I'm the most educated person at my work site.  Oh well.  The one good thing about age, I guess, is that it does demand a certain level of respect, regardless of whether or not you're a strong, successful type, or just some bum in a trailer park.  It gets in the way sometimes though.... some of my coworkers are, how should we say... lacking fundamental intellectual faculties.  (Hopefully, if I word it this way, and one of them reads it, they won't understand what I'm saying).  Yet they are the ones the supervisors will listen to first.   Maybe it has something to do with the fact that they tend to bitch a lot.  Anyone else have whiny coworkers?  

In any case, I'm just glad they finally gave me my vacation, a good month or so after I put in the paperwork. 

Oh yeah, I want to thank all of you who actually read the garbage I've been writing - I made the hot blogs list.  For a good ten minutes, I felt important!  &nb sp;

Tune in later and maybe I'll once again have some sort of scathing, semi-intelligent rant on another group of people or purposes that drive me nuts. 

After some careful research and extensive study, I've been able to pinpoint the overall, average psychology of the typical human being as they go throughout the stages of their lives.  So, without further ado, here we go:

Stage 1:  Life as a baby:  "Sleep.  Scream.  Eat.   Sleep.  Scream.  Eat. "

Stage 2:  Toddler years: "Kitty go boom down the stairs.  I draw man on wall.  Mommy's hair turn white, go bye-bye"

Stage 3:  Grade school/childhood:  "Ew, girls/boys have cooties.  Check out my cool pokemon cards."

Stage 4:  High school years:  "Nobody loves me.  My parents don't understand me.  My life sucks.  Hey man, got any weed?"

Stage 5: College:   "Hmmm, keg tonight or morning class tomorrow?"

Stage 6: Postgraduate: "Don't worry, mom! I'll get a job!"

Stage 7: Beginning career:  "I gotta pay HOW much for these loans?  I should probably clean my apartment.  Someday, I'll make more than 20 grand a year..."

Stage 8: 30's :  "Wow, here I am, married, kids. White picket fence... The american dream!"

Stage 9: 40's: "Damn, where did the time go?  Bloody kids.  I should buy a convertible."

Stage 10: 50's:  "I gotta pay HOW much for this kids college??  Where'd these love-handles come from?"

Stage 11: 60's:  "Ah, finally.  Retirement.  Ok, now what?  I should get this hair dyed.."

Stage 12: 70's: "Get off my porch!  Young whippersnapper s! Where's my tea?"

Stage 13: 80's and beyond: "Who are you? What's that smell?

This will apply to almost everyone in some way/shape/form.  You know it's true. 

People are getting really lazy these days.  I guess it's a byproduct of technology... but when you look at the latest advancements in technology, it's almost always something that allows us to get more done with less effort.  Efficiency is key.  Trouble is, it's making people become physically inept.  People start to sit around, drive everywhere they have to go, stop at McDonald's for supper, while using the GPS on their cell phone and Instant messanging a friend all at once. 

One result of all this over the years is deficits in the general health of everyone.   So naturally, companies have jumped on this as an opportunity to market products designed to be "quick fixes" for getting in shape, or "magic bullets" that will trim your waistline by Christmas time.   While not all of us have bought into this crap, enough people have been doing so that I still see Chuck Norris' mug on TV infomercials from time to time.  Companies know that if they promise a product that will deliver maximum results (Lose 25 pounds in 2 weeks!!!!) with minimum effort (Only 3 minutes a day!!!!)  they'll appeal to the wide mass of people who want to get in shape but are too lazy to do so.    Then, even worse, you've got the whole fad diet thing...   millions of people are buying into this Atkin's diet without realizing how unhealthy it is.   Sure, you'll lose weight... but you'll also lose weight if you throw up after every meal (sorry). 

So I, BroRizzo, have taken it upon myself to educate the masses.  Here is my easy 3-step guide to losing weight:

1.  Eat healthy food. 

2.  Exercise

3.  Lose weight!

Now all I have to do is package this into a book with pretty colors on the front, extrapolate on each of these subjects to an unnecessary degree, and I'll make millions.  That is, unless everybody views these steps as too difficult and decide to just avoid bread instead.  Lazy bastards.